Diamondback new website
We would like to welcome the Diamondbacks to the FMBA Website Club. www.ballcharts.com/teams/index.php?team=calgarydiamondbacks, They have some sweet chirps already. They are embarrassing the Wolfack who get a D- on there comeback site.
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Morgan Returns
The Calgary Longhorns are pleased to announce that Bud "Morgan" Eisthen is coming out of retirement. We added another player under 26. This brings our average age down to 36. Welcome back Bud
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Little Giants
The Little Giants had a rude awakening to the season. We spanked the young bucks 12-2 in 6 innings. Carter, T-Roy and Jade Alberts were all 2 for 3. Lars, Kellen were 2 for 4 and almost everyone had a hit. Dave Jablonski started his Longhorns career off going 1 for 1 with a SB. Jason (I beg for every pitch) Ulmer and Teddy, yes he is alive, split the 6 innings. All the beers were hammered back but only 4 showed up at Beckham's. We are sad to report that the serving talent has not improved at Beckham's over the winter.
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2012 Season Starts Tuesday
The 2012 Longhorn Season starts Tuesday at 6.30pm vs Giants
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Weddings
We don't do photos. Only open bar weddings
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Facebook Video Tribute
We are having a video posted each day until we open the 2012 season. Click on the Facebook tab at the top of the page and you will be directed to the site. Like our page and you will receive an endless amount of entertainment.
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Jared Davis
With Trent Corbett announcing his retirement, we've added Jared Davis. He's a ex Saskatoon Hilltop. He won a Canadian National Junior Football Championship with them. He wanted play for Fort Sask but they were full, so he settled for the Longhorns. He will bring up the team speed but hurts the team weight.
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Facebook
Just added a photo of our new recruit. 6'8" and chizzled like the rest of us.
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Nelly's Mentoring Skills
It could be a long season in the NW Little League T-Ball. A Ex Calgary Cardinal is coaching. Hopefully he doesn't bring any of Nelly's coaching philosophies.
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2012 Schedule
The schedule is up. We start the season off against the Giants. This is perfect. We can get them our mailing addresses for the wedding invites.
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Next Practice Apr.29 at 9pm
Hopefully we have more than 5 guys
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Practice tonight
BP tonight at 9pm
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Coach Rex or Albo
I can't tell who this is. Maybe Coach Rex or Albo. They both have the same Rider shirt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iBdynk8q_Q
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Craig Joyce drops new Album
Craig Joyce has released his first Album. Check it out on our Facebook Page. For every new "Like" we get, Coach Rex will dry hump Jared Albo
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Teddy Eisthen
Yes Ted is still alive. We had BP and he was sitting at the dome having a few drinky poos by himself. He can't swing the bat anymore but said he will pitch. Darren Fech won the pool by first predicting he was alive and would be back before the 2012 season
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Tryell (Tebow) Time
With another retirement on the books we are please to add Kellen's Foreman's more responsible brother to the team. Were told he's a better player and more like Tim Tebow. It will be interesting if he can get anyone to commit to the pre-game prayer. We do need a chaperone at Tourneys
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Practice
Next practice is Friday Mar.30 @ 9.30. Hopefully more than 4 guys turn up. Looking at are averages from last year, we need all the extra swings we can get
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Practice
Next Practice is on Thursday
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David "I'm bigger than Ben" Jablonski
He's a 6'9" masher with a Sid Finch like fastball. With Ben standing 6'8" and David at 6'9" manning the corners.....holy shit look out
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Kuzek's Pregnant
It might looks like he's pregnant but it's actually Jen. The baby due date is July.4th. Kuzek wanted to time it with the July. 4th Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Good work Kuz
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Arne "23 MVP" Larson Retires
We new this day would come, the first Longhorns retirement. It's with great sadness that I announce Arne "23 MVP" is retiring. His wizardry on the field speaks for itself, but we love his off the field antics. When we first met Arne, he was the mayor of Enchant. He walked around with a brief case that had over $20,000 in it. We still don't know why but we were in awe. Eating A&W burgers in the his own closet, at home, so he didn't have to share (btw he was by himself). Being recognized in International Newspapers after being stuck in Hurricane Wilma on his Honeymoon. Arne's shotgunning ability is absolutely sick. No one has even come close to beating him, and that's with a chew in. Imagine how fast he is without one. We will have a retirement party for Arne during one of our Saturday Double Headers. You will be missed buddy.
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Ben just got Smaller
Just had lunch with Ty and we could be adding a 6'9" player. Sorry Ben you are not the tallest...bitch
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Newest Longhorn
Peaches had a baby boy on Monday. His name is Easton Michael Suchan. He was 9 lbs 9 ounces and 21 1/4 long. He fits the team mold and has already devoured his first cheeseburger. I think he'll fit in nicely.
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Follow us on Twitter @CgyLonghorns.
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The Summer of Weddings
The Giants have welcomed us to all their weddings and they stated 2 reasons. The first one is they want to become better post game drinkers. We'll bring the Arne Larson Shotgunning Show. They Think we have money for gifts. Little do they know we will just bring cards and put them on gifts that are already there.
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Giant Wedding Crashers
After reading the latest Calgary Giants website post, it got me thinking. Since we are old and 95% of our team is married, we should start crashing their weddings. They are young and could use some wiley old vets at the reception and party. We aren't that interested in the wedding ceremony.
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Happy New Year
We hope everyone had a safe and happy holidays. The Chinese Calendar says it's the year of the Longhorn. Be scared....very scared bitches
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